The Pragmatic Dreamer (forrealz)

I rewrote one of my favorite posts because I realized it wasn’t finished. That was a first draft, this is the REAL deal. So if it sounds familiar… that’s why 😉

This was filmed at my work 10 minutes before we closed

Cj and faith say hi

https://youtu.be/KM9PM9Fzz6k

 

words:

If you really wanted to know me,
you should know I’m a little too much of a realist.
Most people would call writers dreamers
believers,
romanticists,
up in the clouds,
large minds with intricate words who never really seem to give up reaching for the stars
I guess I’ve given up on the stars
and I don’t know why, maybe I never looked for them in the first place –

But when I think of you
I see twinkling cosmos
and burning white galaxies

For years, I dreamed about finding the guy who got me
Got why I insist this world is only going to get worse and then beg people to only love each other a little harder, to show me the songs he listens to at 2am and comes to symphonies and marvels over that one magic making moment, who’s willing to stand in crowds for hours breathing in other peoples’ sweat just to hear someone give us their soul, and knows it’s not even a gamble, who reads words and feels empowered by them, who understands my family and still comes to Sunday dinners and gets what it’s like to feel like you’ll never be better
someone who sees the potential in never-ending love
and wonders about impossible things
with me
in the back of a car
instead of filling the front
with empty chatter
Who understood I wasn’t courageous
and then knew when to make me jump
and when to let me just watch the sky

And this year, I did find someone
and he was awesome
I was so ready to have someone to write about
in all of our art
but every time ink went on paper
all I did was bleed frustration
because none of it was about us
it was about me
and how I wanted everything perfect.
I understand now,
why everyone wanted me to do it right-
yes, I wanted to get it right
and I guess that’s the thing with being a realist
everything needs to make sense,

to be precise, and calculated and
right.

But emotion is fluid and humans cannot be categorized into solutions
I realized
you could do everything right
and still get it wrong
because love is a stargazer
and love will stop at nothing to find Jupiter
hurdle asteroids
shoot comets –

I need you to take me to the stars

I’ve never been good at making mistakes
and I swear it’s something I’ll work on
I’ll try to stop mapping
and begin to start feeling
I feel as though I understand a few things in this world
but love is not one of them
so when I do find that guy,
I’m going to need him to be patient.
I’ll wrestle with fear
be scared too much of the time
and probably cry
but I promise, I’m feeling

When I do find that guy,
please just hold me
because I’ve pretty much given up the hope that
I will find you

I’m pretty practical
reasonable
probably a little cynical

But if there’s any part of me
that’s holding onto the unrealistic
blazing
romanticist

It’s to find you.